While unpacking this year’s Christmas crap, I discovered an old, unopened stocking stuffer, UNO dice edition. The game comes in a red pop can and contains dice you roll, to play a modified version of UNO. It’s a two player game, so me and my son, Miles, played a couple times to get the hang of it. Here’s why the old and young shouldn’t play games together. Young people’s minds are fast, they haven’t had 30 or 40 years of wear and tear to old think tank.
Yep, you may have guessed, me trying to say the word “UNO” was an issue. The dice hadn’t stopped rocking from my roll, when Miles’ started to shout “UNO”! Then, he had the never to say, “Pick up the dice, Toots”. TOOTS? Who are you calling Toots? I almost flew over the coffee table to kick his teeth out. Did I mention, I’m much calmer since removing sugar from my diet? Needless to say, that was the end of “Fight-In-A-Can”.
Another favorite moment came right before New Year’s Eve. Sarah, Kat’s bestie and our family’s favorite vagrant, came over. Sarah’s elusive, in my opinion, a lot like a feral cat. You almost never see them, but then suddenly “poof” they show up and you feed them. So it was no surprise, that she was suddenly seated around the coffee table playing family game night.
Our family loves to play games when everyone’s around, 20 Questions, Scrabble, Life, Monopoly and anything else on the market. Most of our game nights turn into a hot mess with someone “loving” mocking or insulting Clarence, my husband. He’s fun to pick on and he’s a good sport. Kat and me, well we can dish it out pretty good, but go one insult to far and we’ll stop the game and cry. That’s not a joke.
Katrina and D, her boyfriend, are on the couch, when she notices that little red can. “What’s that?”, she asks. Miles starts laughing and I warn them, “Don’t open that can. It’s a fight waiting to happen.” Why don’t people believe me? Three short games later and they were barely speaking to each other for the rest of the night. I told you.
So if “Fight-In-A-Can” wasn’t enough, Clarence also bought UNO “You fill in the torture wild cards”. Who comes up with this crap? D and I have opt’d out, we’d both taken enough UNO abuse, besides I was make chicken vegetable soup from a leftover rotisserie chicken. We have an open floor plan so technically I could still be in the game from the stove, but greasy chicken fingers and cards don’t mix.
Clarance, Sarah, Kat and Miles were 10 minutes into the game when the laughter became an annoying roar. Now Miles was in the kitchen tearing through frig and cabinets to make a PB&J sandwich. Why do boys have such difficulty spreading anything onto bread? Apparently, one of Clar’s fill in the blank cards was “Make me a sandwich”. Normally I wouldn’t care, but in the last couple of days we’d already plowed through 6 dozen eggs and 4 pounds of bacon. Over the next hour, we ran out of bread and peanut butter. Now, I was serving my chicken soup as a sandwich alternative, when is this game over? Cause we’re running out of food, fast!
For me, there is a correlation to inflammation/pain, as soon as I eat sugar and gluten, not sure which controls what yet, but those few food slip-ups and both my planter fasciitis and IBS “issues” are back! God Bless America, really? Lillie and Roger’s Christmas sweets and Anna Maria’s New Year’s Eve pizza party made me realize I have to break up with sugar and gluten, for real. It took about a week for things to settle down and get back to my new and improved normal. This is new territory for me, but I’m finally listening.