I’ve had weight issues my whole life, but now I have a string of health issues ta boot. Really Angela? Who says, “ta boot”? But for real, I’ve been enduring some major health issues like chronic anemia, plantar fasciitis and IBS. In case you’re wondering, yes, I may have few auto-immune issues, who doesn’t.
It’s time to stop ignoring my issues and do something about it! I crossed a major threshold in my life, the dreaded mid-forties and I can’t afford to lose any more time.
In the past, I’ve been successful watching calories, counting calories, tracking calories, eating healthier, eating low-fat, eating low-carb, adding exercise, joining a gym and ultimately losing some weight. My issue is, I fall back into the tender arms of sugar and carbs, HARD. And then before you knowing it, I’m taking selfies with Mt. Dew Freezes and my weight is back. This time I’m going to try something different, I’m going to working on improving my health first!
In November, I added Netflix and Prime to my list of addictions. I’m pretty sure watching countless hours of documentaries on sugar, food as medicine and the corrupt health industry was not good for me. It did however, scare me enough to start journaling. I’m literally laughing as I type these very words, I’m not a journalist. I’m more of a sketch artist. My mind processes information in pictures and I’m comfortable with that. Sorry I digress easily. While I was researching the benefits of nutrition for health, I was led to the ONE and ONLY, Dr. Berg! Finding him was like discovering the holy grail.
I could try to explain this amazing man, but it’s better if you look him up for yourself. He has more than a thousand videos on the benefits of a Ketogenic diet for health and weight loss. I tend not to trust skinny people, but Dr. Berg made sense to me.
WARNING: This is a two-fer people!
Kale and Mogwai
Conferring with my journal [giggling sounds], December 7th was my first come to Jesus with my health and mental well-being. Setting onto paper my decision to change my life. Listing out all my ailments from head-to-toe. This took me a couple of days because I included mood into that mix. I wasn’t in a hurry, I wanted a checklist to prove that eating healthy food was improving my physical and mental well being. Here's my take on something Charlotte Gerson said in one of those documentaries, once you start healing the body (with nutrition), the body doesn’t fix one thing, it fixes everything. C-O-O-L, because my list is two pages long. You should look up Charlotte, she is amazing and she’s 95! I wouldn’t doubt that she came here from a different galaxy.
SIDE NOTE: It’s 6:30 am and my coffee is done brewin’! I opened the fridge and my creamer is GONE! Shit, I ran out of it yesterday! This is not good people! I live for cream and not just any cream, heavy whipping cream! I dream of pouring that rich, creamy fatness into the dark despair of black coffee. God Bless America, why me? Yes, GBA is replacing a slew of cuss words.
I’m totally laughing at my journal, it’s easy to see my mind was miss firing. In every paragraph, my handwriting slants a different direction. I have about 15 pages of scribbled notes and sketches from watching Dr. Berg’s videos. Most of which are undecipherable, but this one is clear. It reads...
#1. Add Kale Smoothie to morning
YEP, I’m going to start drinking kale smoothies like it’s my J.O.B., every morning 5 days a week!
And…if I’m going to drink kale smoothies, sooo is my co-worker, V!
It’s easy to see now…why I’m hated in the office.
Poor V, she’s a trooper. She’s been sucking down this green garbage with me on the daily. Five cups of kale (YUP), two cups of water, one cup of blueberries and half a cup of raspberries, sounds healthy right? It is! And it tastes like shit. Do you know what cruciferous vegetables are? Kale is one of them! It’s listed on mother nature’s stinkiest list of vegetables. After just one of these low-sugar smoothies, I’ve decided to add a scoop of sweet greens powder. NOPE. Now my healthy smoothie is sweet, but has the added bonus of smelling and tasting like blue-green algae. I gotta get better at reading labels, it lists out blue-glue algae on the front!
Now let’s add one health guru to this smoothie, welcome…Joey (another co-worker)! I love Joey, if fact everyone loves Joey. Mainly because she makes amazing cocktails, but also because she is a great listener and she knows a lot about everything, even kale smoothies!
Joey: “You need to add some bananas, Greek yogurt and chai seeds to that smoothie.”
Me: “How much chia seeds?”
Joey: “Go big or go home.”
WRONG. Chia seeds are like cute little Mogwai, but there are rules to having Mogwai.
Rule #2: Don’t get them wet! If you get them wet, they will spawn more chia seeds. Not really, but chai seeds double in size when you soak them and they’re a great source of omega-3 fatty acids. If you don’t know what Mogwai are, then you have to watch the 1984 horror classic, Gremlins!
Again, I’m crying with laughter, I wish you could have seen V's cute little 20-something year old face! I keep picturing her eyes bulging trying to suck that kale-chia-pudding through a straw. Who knows, maybe I’ll get better at making smoothies!