What the Foop?

LMAO, do you know who said “What the foop?” Titus Andromedon, from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix. Titus said, “What the foop?”, when he discovered someone had used his voice and personality as a character for a bladder control commercial. No, no one is impersonating me, but I love the saying and I love the show! Kimmy, I can relate to, I feel like, I was released from that same underground bunker with her and there’s this world out there that I can’t wait to explore while wearing light-up shoes. If you’ve been following me on IG you know this girl is on fire! I stepped out of the bunker and the sun is shining.

I’ve been a graphic designer for 18 years and I love to design, but it’s completely different than picking up a pencil to draw or a brush to paint. For years, I chained myself down inside that bunker, not allowing myself to feel creative or artistic. Yes, this sounds nuts even to me, but I put these excuses out there, like there’s not enough…time, money, space, brushes, paint, good lighting, blah, blah, blah!

You see what I’m saying? I let all those excuses get in the way of me being creative and fulfilled. Part of it was my lifestyle, but the other part was food. YES, food! Food can be extremely mood altering. Once I removed those obstacles it’s was as if I was released and could do whatever I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it. I can tell you that I’m out of control learning and discovering my ability to write, draw, sketch and explore. I want to do everything and now I am. Normally, I would have found an excuse on why I couldn’t, now I can’t find an excuse on why I shouldn’t!

The other day, I was explaining to my friend, Marc, that I feel like a new person. I control my destiny and the path that I’m going to take to get there. I feel like Neo, in the Matrix, when he discovers his “ability”. He had that “ability” the whole time, he just didn’t believe in himself, but when he did…everything stopped. There was this clarity, no matter what the obstacle he could step to the left or he could step right to avoid that punch to the face. No, I can’t avoid a punch to the face, but nothing feels unattainable or unstoppable. You might be thinking this poor girl has lost it, but this is real for me.

I’m inspiring not only myself, but others. I know this because they tell me. Every time, I run into someone who follows me or knows me, they say, “I want to do what you’re doing” or “I want to feel like you do”. Ok, well…you know your life; you know what you’re doing or not doing. Time doesn’t care about your excuses; it just keeps going. Our lifetime is seconds, one day you’re going to look back at it and realize how fast it went. All I can say is fill those seconds with joy and happiness. Make your life yours! If you want something…go get it. Don’t expect someone else to step in and help you get there, figure it out and take your own first step.

Addictions

I’ve had weight issues my whole life, but now I have a string of health issues ta boot. Really Angela? Who says, “ta boot”? But for real, I’ve been enduring some major health issues like chronic anemia, plantar fasciitis and IBS. In case you’re wondering, yes, I may have few auto-immune issues, who doesn’t.
It’s time to stop ignoring my issues and do something about it! I crossed a major threshold in my life, the dreaded mid-forties and I can’t afford to lose any more time.

In the past, I’ve been successful watching calories, counting calories, tracking calories, eating healthier, eating low-fat, eating low-carb, adding exercise, joining a gym and ultimately losing some weight. My issue is, I fall back into the tender arms of sugar and carbs, HARD. And then before you knowing it, I’m taking selfies with Mt. Dew Freezes and my weight is back. This time I’m going to try something different, I’m going to working on improving my health first!

In November, I added Netflix and Prime to my list of addictions. I’m pretty sure watching countless hours of documentaries on sugar, food as medicine and the corrupt health industry was not good for me. It did however, scare me enough to start journaling. I’m literally laughing as I type these very words, I’m not a journalist. I’m more of a sketch artist. My mind processes information in pictures and I’m comfortable with that. Sorry I digress easily. While I was researching the benefits of nutrition for health, I was led to the ONE and ONLY, Dr. Berg! Finding him was like discovering the holy grail.

I could try to explain this amazing man, but it’s better if you look him up for yourself. He has more than a thousand videos on the benefits of a Ketogenic diet for health and weight loss. I tend not to trust skinny people, but Dr. Berg made sense to me.

WARNING: This is a two-fer people!

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Kale and Mogwai

Conferring with my journal [giggling sounds], December 7th was my first come to Jesus with my health and mental well-being. Setting onto paper my decision to change my life. Listing out all my ailments from head-to-toe. This took me a couple of days because I included mood into that mix. I wasn’t in a hurry, I wanted a checklist to prove that eating healthy food was improving my physical and mental well being. Here's my take on something Charlotte Gerson said in one of those documentaries, once you start healing the body (with nutrition), the body doesn’t fix one thing, it fixes everything. C-O-O-L, because my list is two pages long. You should look up Charlotte, she is amazing and she’s 95! I wouldn’t doubt that she came here from a different galaxy. 

SIDE NOTE: It’s 6:30 am and my coffee is done brewin’! I opened the fridge and my creamer is GONE! Shit, I ran out of it yesterday! This is not good people! I live for cream and not just any cream, heavy whipping cream! I dream of pouring that rich, creamy fatness into the dark despair of black coffee. God Bless America, why me? Yes, GBA is replacing a slew of cuss words.

I’m totally laughing at my journal, it’s easy to see my mind was miss firing. In every paragraph, my handwriting slants a different direction. I have about 15 pages of scribbled notes and sketches from watching Dr. Berg’s videos. Most of which are undecipherable, but this one is clear. It reads...

#1. Add Kale Smoothie to morning

YEP, I’m going to start drinking kale smoothies like it’s my J.O.B., every morning 5 days a week!
And…if I’m going to drink kale smoothies, sooo is my co-worker, V!
It’s easy to see now…why I’m hated in the office.

Poor V, she’s a trooper. She’s been sucking down this green garbage with me on the daily. Five cups of kale (YUP), two cups of water, one cup of blueberries and half a cup of raspberries, sounds healthy right? It is! And it tastes like shit. Do you know what cruciferous vegetables are? Kale is one of them! It’s listed on mother nature’s stinkiest list of vegetables. After just one of these low-sugar smoothies, I’ve decided to add a scoop of sweet greens powder. NOPE. Now my healthy smoothie is sweet, but has the added bonus of smelling and tasting like blue-green algae. I gotta get better at reading labels, it lists out blue-glue algae on the front!

Now let’s add one health guru to this smoothie, welcome…Joey (another co-worker)! I love Joey, if fact everyone loves Joey. Mainly because she makes amazing cocktails, but also because she is a great listener and she knows a lot about everything, even kale smoothies!

Joey: “You need to add some bananas, Greek yogurt and chai seeds to that smoothie.”
Me: “How much chia seeds?”
Joey: “Go big or go home.”

WRONG. Chia seeds are like cute little Mogwai, but there are rules to having Mogwai.
Rule #2: Don’t get them wet! If you get them wet, they will spawn more chia seeds. Not really, but chai seeds double in size when you soak them and they’re a great source of omega-3 fatty acids. If you don’t know what Mogwai are, then you have to watch the 1984 horror classic, Gremlins

Again, I’m crying with laughter, I wish you could have seen V's cute little 20-something year old face! I keep picturing her eyes bulging trying to suck that kale-chia-pudding through a straw. Who knows, maybe I’ll get better at making smoothies!